Lise Funderburg recommends Mom Always Liked You Bestas one of five must-read books providing “expert advice for brothers and sisters embroiled in eldercare” in the May 2012 issue of MORE Magazine. In a companion article (Quibbling Siblings: Eldercare Edition), she quotes book co-author Blair Trippe: “In the short term, you’re getting everyone to deal with the situation at hand and catalyzing the group into action,” [Trippe] explains. “In the long term, the family learns a language and communication strategy….”
Robin Marantz Henig tells the powerful story of an aging brother and sister who chose elder mediation as a path to reconciliation in the Slate Magazine article “The Ties That Blind: Elder Mediators help brothers and sisters stop fighting and make decisions about aging parents” posted at Slate.com on Thursday, February 9, 2012.
Henig’s extensive research and penetrating insights provide a revealing view of the multi-decade long challenges faced by these siblings whose mutual suspicion and distrust had created a schism that prevented a functional working relationship even when the welfare of their beloved 98-year-old mother was at issue. With the help of Vermont-based elder mediators Neal Rodar and Susanne Terry, the beginnings of understanding and a will to repair the relationship began. Though the ending was tragic, a level of peace, previously unattainable, was achieved.
As for the obstacles that sometimes prevent siblings from engaging an elder mediator, Henig quotes Mom Always Liked You Best co-author Blair Trippe. “If I make up with my sister,” one client said to Trippe, “how are we going to relate? What are we going to fight about if we can’t fight over the house?” The full text of the piece is available at: www.Slate.com.
“The most common cause of family conflict in the estate planning process is a lack of effective communication.” So begins an article by Mom Always Liked You Best co-author Rikk Larsen in the cover story of the September 2011 issue of the Costco Connection. In his article, Larsen shares typical barriers that families face along with some helpful communication tools. See the online version of the print magazine for the full text.
“Mediator Larsen and his colleagues have poured their collected knowledge of how to navigate the tricky world of taking care of aging parents into a self-published book, Mom Always Liked You Best: A Guide for Resolving Family Feuds, Inheritance Battles & Eldercare Crises.
“Larsen spoke to the AARP Bulletin about sibling disputes, elder mediation and this complicated time of life.”
In the article, Larsen discussed the importance of family communication, and how mediation can help:
“… unfortunately during times of elder transitions, that communication is tested. The typical family communication system is rarely up to the challenge, so just the act of getting together in a formal, safe session with a third-party neutral who isn’t going to be making decisions is tremendously powerful and often leads to great problem solving.”
Anne Tergesen recommended “Mom Always Liked You Best” in her SmartMoney – Encore blog post Should You Hire an ‘Elder Mediator’? on August 2, 2011:
If you want to try your own hand at mediating family disputes, check out “Mom Always Liked You Best.” The book contains chapters on “Family Meetings,” “Including the Elder’s Voice,” and general strategies to use when trying to break an impasse.
The SmartMoney – Encore blog is part of the Wall Street Journal Digital Network. Read the full post.
Co-authors Blair Trippe and Rikk Larsen of Elder Decisions® were interviewed by host Emily Rooney of the WGBH television show, Greater Boston, about the team’s new book, Mom Always Liked You Best: A Guide to Family Feuds, Inheritance Battles & Eldercare Crises. The program aired on August 1, 2011.
You may view the interview below or visit WGBH.org
Our friends at Elder Decisions, Arline Kardasis, Rikk Larsen, Crystal Thorpe and Blair Trippe, have written a great new book on resolving family disputes, Mom Always Liked You Best: A Guide for Resolving Family Feuds, Inheritance Battles & Eldercare Crises.
Fights over elder care issues can sunder family relations forever, often bringing up tensions and conflicts dating back to childhood. The Elder Decision team provides step-by-step advice on how to resolve family disputes, hopefully strengthening family ties and preventing all out war. It is useful reading both for families facing these issues and for anyone advising them.